


neon moon

by rainbowjeong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Drinking, Johnny is sad, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, Songfic, Suh Youngho | Johnny-centric, communication is important kids, johnny doesn't like to discuss problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:42:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28794123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowjeong/pseuds/rainbowjeong
Summary: johnny associated places with colors. chicago was lavender, filled with laughter, nostalgia and a childhood bliss. seoul was yellow, of friendships and drunk shenanigans. tokyo, tokyo was blue. tokyo was neon.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Nakamoto Yuta/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	neon moon

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was inspired by the song "neon moon" by cigarettes after sex. so if you want you can listen to it for full effect lol.  
> [neon moon](https://open.spotify.com/track/7laJx5tDtvm3Mkj832oxSb?si=IVJeIOxNTeCZeWnjw0ydCg&utm_source=copy-link)

johnny associated places with colors. chicago was lavender, filled with laughter, nostalgia and a childhood bliss. seoul was yellow, of friendships and drunk shenanigans. tokyo, tokyo was blue. tokyo was neon.

___

johnny walks down the street that he can, now, walk with his eyes closed. it was clockwork for him. every friday on five p.m down street 24. 

johnny thinks the sunset looks the best from there.

the sign "luminals" shines bright in the afterglow. almost too bright, he thinks. it was a rundown bar he stumbled across two years ago, running away from a fight he didn't want to confront. doyoung wanted to discuss, johnny hated the idea. 

he was surprised to find the bar considering it was almost hidden. a small building below the tall, tall apartments. asking around, he found out it was owned by a nice man called jung jaehyun and his boyfriend, ten. johnny could almost say he's friends with them now.

the bar was right beside the railway tracks. sometimes he could see the trains pass by. 

perfect. it was perfect.

johnny chose a two-seater table that day, just below a neon sign shaped like a crescent. two-seater because johnny planned to bring doyoung there some other day, when they were not fighting. (his plan fails. he sits alone the next time too.)

that day, under the blue light and the distant horns of the train moving past, johnny drank till he passed out. doyoung took him home. the morning next they behaved like nothing happened. johnny kissed him on the cheek. doyoung cooked him breakfast. another fight ignored.

___

things didn't change much since then. every friday he goes there, books the same table under the neon moon, drinks until he blacks out. 

doyoung doesn't come to pick him up anymore. hasn't since a year.

the room is filled with smoke when he enters. like something out of hell. johnny's heaven. his feet drags him to the back of the bar. he sits down.

it's almost funny to him, to sit there alone. johnny never sat alone anywhere. he liked people and loved being around them. but that table, it was for him and doyoung. johnny sat alone but he never planned to.

sitting there, johnny liked to think. sometimes he saw two young boys running around in the park, a little wild and very free. he could see swings fly up high. a gummy smile, tears from laughing till their stomachs hurt, a dream of forever. a memory. sometimes, he could hear bells toll, see an aisle filled with white peonies. see doyoung standing there at the altar, looking so, so beautiful. a dream.

in that dream, johnny sees himself kiss doyoung, to seal the marriage, the promise of eternity. what's not a dream is johnny opening instagram to see it's taeyong who kisses doyoung at the altar. johnny's reality is doyoung being married to someone else now. doyoung's life is not his to share with anymore.

johnny sits and cries. cries and cries till he can't think anymore. doyoung loves me. a lie. he'll come back. another lie. everything will be fine again. and another.

the tears blur his eyes, the lies daze his mind. when he lifts his head he sees his dreams, broken, shattered and irreparable, dance in and out of the beams of the neon moon. johnny thinks it's fine. it's fine as long as the light above him shone.

johnny plans to drink himself to waste again. he thinks if he does that maybe doyoung will come to pick him up again. doyoung doesn't. johnny still hopes. 

johnny asks for another drink when he is refused. he is confused, almost baffled. no one refused him a drink before. he looks up to see the bartender. "he's new," johnny thinks. 

"why not?" he slurs his words. maybe he already drank too much.

"because you have already drank enough," the new boy states, matter-of-factly.

"but i want more."

"no, and i have already booked you a cab. jaehyun gave me your address." johnny looks up at that. no one has ever done that to him. he wants to get angry, he wants to refute the new boy, but words never come out. he's almost speechless. johnny opens his mouth to lamely close it again.

"i've never seen you before," he says instead. a ping. the cab arrived.

"i am new, i joined this monday." the boy helps johnny stand up. takes him to the cab and makes sure johnny doesn't trip.

"what's your name?" he makes johnny sit inside the car, closes the door and smiles.

"yuta."

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ever fic so it's not really that good. but i hope you liked it. it's also the first fic that i actually completed so it's my baby. 
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/rainbowjeong_?s=09) or [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/rainbowjeong_)


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